The Dark Side – My Black Panther

In my internal imagery, I have this black panther – dark, silent, lethal – unseen until it's too late … my dark side. This panther has gotten me into trouble – saying mean things to people I love and people I don't know, who just happened to be there when I was in a ‘dark' mood; imagining a disintegrator gun on the hood of my car, blasting people out of my way; wishing bad luck to those who ‘offend’ me in some way or another; feeling grim satisfaction at the adversity of those for whom I wished bad luck; being part of malicious gossip, and the list goes on.

The problem with this panther is that for a lot of my life, I didn't have control over it. It sneaked out, did its damage, then left me feeling horrified, embarrassed, ashamed, and scared. The pattern: I know the 
panther is there; I put a lid on it, watching it carefully. Then events happen, I get a gut-full of being 'good,' considerate of everybody else, not saying what's really going on for me. Then the panther leaps out, gets even for every hurt I ever swallowed. I feel horrified, embarrassed and ashamed, and I do my best to bury the beast – which works for a while, until I've had a gut-full of being 'good' again.

The switch in my life happened when I told the truth – fundamentally, I AM good, AND I have a dark side. When I owned my goodness and took responsibility for who I am, I also took responsibility for my black panther. The fastest way to do that is to ask for forgiveness – forgiveness from anyone for my bad behavior – behavior that is alien to my innate goodness. Humbling myself makes my goodness even stronger – which is backwards from how I thought it would be. 

Humble          Clean           Strong

Isn't that your experience?