Overs

In a recent training, one of the recurring themes was the concept of "overs" – the chance to start over. It looks like this. I'm excited about some topic that I can't wait to tell you about (or I'm scared to tell you). As soon as I see you, it all comes gushing out. However you don't respond the way you should; or worse, I get the opposite of the response I was expecting. 

So either I've not conveyed what I really meant, or your interpretation has a spin on it that is totally different from my intent. Either way, I want "overs" – to begin again in a way that is more likely to communicate what I want you to know.

Not that this has ever happened to me, of course, but if it ever does … here's how I will handle it. Once I've blasted my spiel all over you (verbal vomit), and you haven't responded the way you are supposed to, I will back up, ask for 'overs' – including leaving, coming back in. And this time, instead of launching right into my speech, I will look at you … take a mental temperature of your current state to gauge your level of receptivity.

If the situation seems to be a 'go' (and I usually get pretty quick feedback as to whether or not I've gauged accurately), then I will set the scene – put some context around what I want to share, the purpose and importance of it. Or I could just ask you what went wrong. It all depends on the feel of the moment.

 Of course, I could circumvent the necessity for 'overs' … most of the time …  if I would just connect with you, the human being, first.