Tug of War – Other Side

In my psychotherapy/coaching practice, I am often in the position of being able to be more generous than others, not so much about money, but about expertise. The tug of war on this side of the rope is whether my generosity supports vitality (mine and others) or undermines accountability (mine and others). 

When this issue comes up, it's usually about the appropriateness of offering my services for free or denying my service, whether it's for free or for pay. I have not found one solution which fits all cases. As usual, it requires my discernment.

I have found some keys. I have learned that it's important for my wellbeing to be generous. If I do not contribute freely to the betterment of others/the greater good, I am caught in the psychology of "not-enough-ness" – and I fear poverty and act miserly. If I contribute too freely, I get consumed by the needs of others and become irresponsible for my own wellbeing. 

I believe that, at our essence, we are generous of heart. And there are times that it is more generous, more vital, more loving in the long term to hold people accountable for their actions, not to relieve them of the consequences of their actions. And sometimes it isn't.

As always, the game changes with great frequency … depending upon the current reality of the circumstance – of you, me, us. I've found no "right answer" – only trusting my common sense or my sixth sense.