The Grand Adventure
This last weekend, I lead a More To Life Weekend in Houston, grateful not to travel; since I'm awaiting the birth of my grandson. On Saturday, one of the participants expressed his concern about how to be fully himself and not be 'selfish.' He came to his own conclusions about that. Since I have wrestled with exactly that same issue, here is what I have learned so far in my life.
When I am being selfish, I am either disconnected from others; or
secretive about what I want, trying to manipulate others or the
situation to get what I want. When I am fully myself is when I am in the present moment – aware of who I am, awake to the presence of others, and tuned in to what is happening – willing to engage fully and openly – and trusting the process (not having to have a predictable outcome).
On the one hand, being freely myself would seem an impossible way to behave in the world – no guarantee of specific outcomes = chaos. We Think we can safeguard our results if we behave in certain ways. Reality, however, refuses to be predictable; ask any New Yorker about 9/11.
I actually learned this from whitewater rafting. Before entering a Class 5 rapid, we beached the raft, climbed a rock that overlooked the rapid, and strategized how best to negotiate the rapid. Then we pushed off and proceeded to follow our plan. OOPS! From the top of the rock, we couldn't see the pillow rocks beneath the surface of the river, and they forced the water to flow much stronger, requiring immediate course correction of the plan. Nobody on the raft said anything, we adjusted on the spot, each applying full effort to accommodate the new Reality. If even one of us had stuck to the original plan, I don't know whether we would have made it or not. The ride through the rapids was wild and wooley and extremely exhilarating.
It required me/us to be totally in the present moment – aware of who I am, awake to the whole team of rafters, and totally tuned in to the power of the river – willing to engage fully – having no time to worry about the outcome. The experience required my full attention, senses turned on high.
Yeah – whether it's whitewater rafting or telling the truth, living fully IS the Grand Adventure.
Oh yes…this is always a dilemma. You start out with a plan, try to work the plan, and it’s not working. I’ve always wondered just where is the line between persistence (since not everything always works out on the first, or even the second try) and realizing that the Universe has something else in mind?
I’m learning (I believe) that telling the difference is not intellectual it’s more how the challenges feel. It’s the difference between it being challenging and just hard, and challenging but yet in a flow. And, being attuned (present to) small signals that come your way.
This is hard to articulate, it really is just a feel…anyone else able to put this into words?