The Current Issue vs Old Pattern
In my experience, whatever Current Issue is on my plate to be dealt with isn't the real issue. The real issue is the pattern of behavior that is being illuminated by the Current Issue.
Case in point: I had an authority figure who seemed bent on disregarding input from me. When I looked at the Current Issue, I was frustrated in myself, resentful of him, and stuck in behavior that was either combative or caved in, as if the real me were invisible (which I thought I was to him).
Not liking either of those behaviors, I backed off and looked at my life from a cumulative, holistic viewpoint. Bummer. There it was – a whole string of male authority figures, "blocking" my progress in some way or another – dating all the way back to dear old Dad, of course.
Upon examination, the 'block' was actually on My end – the belief that 'men don't want me to have what *I* want, they want me to want what they want me to want.' Hmmmm. OK, that's a gross generalization, combined with an absolute denial of all the men in my life who have upheld me, supported me, been there for me in ways that are unique to men, and for which I am really, truly grateful. Like especially my dad … and Brad Brown, Roy Whitten, Bill Boothe, William Holt … the list is endless, and their service to my life – incalculable.
Exposing the lie about this one time, checking for repetition, opened up a whole slew of possibilities for me … and for times when I think I'm not being heard or being dismissed. (I do know that not agreeing with me is not the same as not listening.)
Ann…why am I not surprised at how often your messages come at just the right time in my life? Amazing how that works. I was just having a conversation about “old patterns” with a dear friend who is going through some challenges with her daughters. Your insight was so timely I just forwarded your blog post to her. I am filled with gratitude for all you teach me.