The Bald Truth – about Life
Know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free. Simple. And exceedingly frustrating! Until I surrender.
But first, let me tell you about my frustration, actually two frustrations with the Truth about Life As It Is.
The first frustration is when I don't know exactly what the Truth is. Examples: politics – there is so much contradictory information being slung around, not just about this election coming up, but about global warming, Iraq, terrorism, and on it goes. Then there is the way that Truth is slanted to prove or justify some political action, under-the-table deals, 'spinning' the Truth to the media. Then there are the divergent truths – Americans grief stricken by 9/11, Palestinians dancing in the streets. What's the truth here? What's the real Truth about gas prices, about speculation on the futures market, about which diets really work, and why is the More To Life Program not a household name? On the one hand, I don't know; and sometimes, I don't even bother to find out, it's easier to stay ignorant. I say I want to make a difference in the world, then I sit around and play Freecell.
When I first moved to Johannesburg, a couple of my US friends asked me if I had gotten their packages. No, I hadn't. Then my phone got cut off, and when I checked, they said I hadn't paid my bill, which I never got. Frustration City! I was clueless about what was happening. So I decided to find out. Checking with the post office and others more familiar with the lay of the land, I found out that it was rare to receive a package; postal employees considered purloined packages one of their few perks. I also discovered that sometimes, my mailman just didn't want to walk up the hill to my house, so he didn't. The truth fell into place, like tumblers in a lock, the S.African postal system was different from the US postal system… duh! Once I knew how the system operated, I could choose whether or not to 'fix' the postal system (not my agenda), or use PostNet for my overseas mail, and put my bills on a monthly tickler system, and pay them in advance – eventually I would get a bill and adjust the monies.
The second frustration is when I can't change how Life IS – especially when it would be so much better for Everyone, if I could have IT My Way. Examples: the rapid rise of mediocrity and spiritual sloth, the extent that money is misused/wasted/worshipped, the greed for power, the ignorance of western medicine, the growing claim to entitlement, really stupid ideas that are actually given consideration (i.e., building a high wall around New Orleans that wouldn't even begin to protect it against another Hurricane Katrina – and yes, that idea really was considered – it may still be under consideration – the city is below sea level – get it!); and I am just getting warmed up here! I feel helpless and hopeless and powerless, cuz I just can't "un-happen" this bizarre mix of happenings that seem so disparate from How It Should Have Been or How It Ought To Be – I know. It's such a crazy maker for me – Delusions of Omnipotence that eventually slide down to Delusions of Impotence, then sliding back up to Omnipotence, and repeating ad nauseum. No surrender, only resistance, which keeps me stuck, stuck, stuck.
So while I am frustrated about not knowing what the truth is or frustrated about the Way It Already Is, I don't feel free at all. So I gripe or pray. And generally when I pray from this space, I am actually demanding that God re-order the world, so that I get what I want. OK, so that's a tad ego-driven, but it only seems sensible when I want something that would really be good for everyone. And while I may have some 'nice' phrases in the prayer, essentially, I am saying, "Move over God, My Will be done." (PS As previously mentioned, in this power struggle between me and Life/God/The Force, I have yet to win even one little skirmish, which, believe it or not, fails to dim my everlasting hope.)
Bald Truth: When I trust that there is a bigger picture, when I surrender to the Way It Is (surrender being vastly different from caving in), then I can stand in the middle of not knowing what the real Truth is and either investigate the circumstances, and choose a path that speaks to my heart; or let it be OK that I don't know. I am totally free to choose. There are some things so infinite, that my finite mind just isn't capable of understanding … like, "what's going to happen next?" And when I have faith in the infinite-ness, or the As Is-ness; then tsunamis, earthquakes, children starving, global warming, political corruption, everything, Everything becomes a possibility for my involvement, or not – which piece of that As Is-ness calls me forward, evokes me? Will I play My Part?
Of all the possibilities, which one calls you to play Your Part?
