Speaking up – Part 3 – My Personal Richter Scale

Another one of my 'issues' with speaking up is whether or not what I want trumps what they want or vice-versa. Everything is OK when I want Mexican food at an 8 (out of a 10 count), and someone else wants Italian food at a 4.  Giving it a rating on my personal Richter Scale helps me refine my ability to speak up with even more accuracy – leaving less to misunderstand.

But what about those times when he (for the sake of argument) wants Italian food, and that's a 10 for him … and he has other wants that are also 10's for him – consistently?  In the past, the pattern has been that I really haven't cared that much about where we went. Destinations have not been the priority for me, people have. So as long as I was with people I liked, I didn't much care what we were doing. (And I've learned to be picky about the company I keep, because, over time, what they do and how they are seems 'normal' – so I gravitate to those I aspire to emulate.)

The potential problem with that would be succumbing to a pattern of not saying what I want, lulling myself into spiritual somnolence. So I stay awake, speaking up, giving my current want a Richter Scale number, and noticing what happens. Do I have a lot of 10's? Do I fudge my Richter Scale number, making it lower than it really is, because it's not That Important (= I'm not That Important).

Yep, Life As It Is – honing my ability to speak up honestly, transparently, and trusting what happens next. What a gas!