Plan A – the Illusion of Not Having One

Sometimes I suffer the illusion that I don't have a Plan A, only because it is not obvious to me … until it gets sabotaged or thwarted in some way. Then I realize that I had an unconscious Plan A. Sometimes those are the hardest to get over, because they often have the most investment of my emotional energy.

My first job after I had Rebecca was with a very small oil company consultancy – 2 men and me. The owner/president was a customer I had known from my previous job. The Plan A I didn't know I had was that the owner/president would be as supportive as he had been during our previous interactions. My Plan A conflicted with his Plan A – which was to get me in his bed. He was a married man with 4 grown children. He told me I would be fired if I didn't. To make matters worse, the other man in the office, who I had thought my friend, watched the whole situation go down and did nothing – not even sympathize. Sexual harassment was not even on the radar at that time.

I was triply shocked – the physical intimidation, the betrayal by the accountant, and being fired were so far different from my assumptions, it took me a couple of weeks for it all to sink in. During that time, checking my hindsight, things fell into place – including a call from my previous company, telling me that this person was persona non grata at their office, because of his inappropriate sexual behavior. 

Other Plan A's I didn't know I had – assuming I could participate from the sidelines, building walls I didn't need to protect myself from being vulnerable – those kinds of Plan A's. The ones that operated underground.

The same principle applies as when course correcting the conscious Plan A's: first be aware that some Plan A's are unknown – consciously look for them; then when you discover one, thoughtfully morph it into your best Plan B, put the new plan out there, and see what happens. It ALL works.