Then vs Now – Trainer Conference 2012

Last weekend I stayed at the Ladywell Retreat and Conference Center in Godalming, Surrey, about 1.5 hours south of London – along with 24 other trainers of the MTL program. It was the best trainer conference I have ever experienced.

The connections between us were so real, honoring and touching that it illuminated a long-held grief I didn't know was there. What became clear is that I had unintentionally maintained a wall (a small wall, but a wall nevertheless) between me and the trainerbody as a whole, because we are not all as connected as we used to be – which is what I had so cherished when the MTL program was flourishing back in the 80s.

"In the old days," when it was just the five of us (Brad Brown, Roy Whitten, John Coats, Sue Oldham and me), we were co-training so often that we were continuously aware of what each other was going through – in our personal evolution and with our families, as well as in our communities. We weren't just co-trainers; we were partners, an ongoing team, genuinely caring and totally forthcoming with each other. Letting that go, "the Way It Used To Be," was so freeing, allowing me to appreciate more deeply the reality of what was currently on offer – genuine caring and total forthcoming-ness. Duh! Some of the trainerbody I know "in the old way" (more constant connection) – most I do not. But now I am soaking in what is there, not bereft of what isn't.

It's not the same as it "used to be" – it's different. We have grown from five to 27 and evolved individually and collectively. Now I'm wondering what other unconscious demands I may be hoarding about how "it should be," robbing myself of what IS.

The current members of the trainerbody:

Kneeling, left to right: Warren Kahn, Joanne Marx, Guy Meyer, Frances Grant, Briggy Kiddle, Brocas Walton, William Holt.

Standing, left to right: Pie Pacifique, Louise Smith, Nicole Zuber, Sahera Chohan, Vijay Reddy, Clare Vivian-Neal, Jan Matney, Pascale Ascher, Sophie Sabbage, Richard Perry, Anne Brown, Todd Williams, Elaine Alpert, Felipe Gomez, Richard Cox, Ann McMaster, David Templer, Peggy Jarrett. 
Missing from the picture, but not from the action: Gerry Moline (UK) and Ulrich Bergler (NZ).

PS You can click on the picture to make it bigger.