Free Will – Part 2

Free Will – it sounds delicious – I am free to do whatever I Will. And indeed, that is true. I am FREE. I can satisfy any whim or addiction I like, any time I like (and I have). Or I can choose the road less traveled and satisfy my soul. Sometimes both can be satisfied by the same thing, more often not.

The question I ask myself is:  Is this a short term gain, for a long term loss? Or is this a short term loss, for a long term gain? Bottom line – is this freedom of choice self-indulgence or self mastery?

Self indulgence definitely appeals to my hedonistic nature. The problem occurs later, in retrospect, when it's time to pay the consequences – weight gain, higher bills to pay, having to work longer to meet a deadline, a speeding ticket, etc. That's when the remorse hits me. That's when I rake myself over the coals for being so self-indulgent, and when I vow I will never do that again. Then, of course, I forget, and do it again – making more promises which I fail to keep in the long term.

All the above makes it easy for me to believe that I'm not worth keeping my word to myself. Like, Duh! If I were worth keeping my word to myself, I would. Since I'm not keeping my word to myself, it must be true that I'm not worth it. So I don't. I fulfill my self-proclaimed prophecy, spiraling ever downward.

Bottom line, self-indulgence isn't really Free Will … it's really being a slave to my addictions (I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it). It just masquerades as freedom of choice. And I am free to choose to be a slave.