Elaine Van Meter – Selfish or Senseless?

Today I had a chat with my friend Elaine Van Meter. She was upset at herself for getting caught in the same old loop – committing to her health program with great intentionality, then promptly not keeping her word to herself. (Dang if she wasn't throwing My issue in my own face!!!)

It's not that she can't keep her word to herself … she's one of those women who keeps a lot of balls in the air – full time career as a veterinarian, wife, mother, aunt, support partner, who is also a big player in the More To Life program in Huntsville, AL – Chair of the Steering Committee, in fact. 

The conundrum in which she was caught was the self-perpetuating generator that demanded she be there to take care of everyone (which started when she was 8 yrs old, cooking dinner for her whole family) in order to avoid being thought of as selfish. Because "Everyone Knows" that no one likes someone who is selfish, so you must avoid appearing selfish at All Cost. That means you can't stop to take care of your own body. If you take the time to fix a proper meal and enjoy it and take the time to work out and take the time to process your own feelings, what will people think? They'll think I don't care about them anymore, they'll leave, then I'll be all alone; so I better take care of everyone else – perfectly … and all the time. (Talk about keeping yourself busy!)

That tangled mess of fiction didn't pop up as senseless and untenable, mainly because she's highly competent and because it had been operating in stealth mode for a few decades – so it felt 'right.' It is also "culturally approved" behavior – not to mention emotionally supported by the endless lines of people who are willing to benefit from that time that she doesn't take for herself. And we haven't even gotten to her affinity for quadrupeds, reptiles, fish and fowl.

What's different about her commitment to her health program this time is her re-commitment to honoring her personal value and her passion to be of service, which is compromised when her body is robbed of its vitality due to poor maintenance.

Yes, she's inspiring.