Discernment – Awakening #2
Scene: After a 5-day workshop, Clare Vivian-Neal (my co-leader) was all energized and raring to go. I was pooped (17 year age difference). She suggested going to downtown Suva for a celebratory meal. I said OK.
A few minutes later, I noticed I was mad. Weird. Truly I didn’t know what was going on. So I did a little digging, went back to the moment that I got mad (that I hadn't noticed at the time). The lifeshock was Clare’s bright-eyed suggestion, to which I said Yes – when I didn't really want to go. So I was mad at myself for not even checking to see if that was a fit for me. I didn’t want to go to the effort of getting a cab, deciding on a restaurant, etc. I wanted to recuperate from being so intensively *on* for five full days.
The discernment: If I’m bone-tired, flat out of gas, I can usually count on myself to set appropriate
limits. However, if I’m in the pre-bone-tired stage, I am more likely to have just enough energy to keep going, and not check in with myself to see if it’s the healthiest choice.
The new intention: pay more attention to my body – it truly knows.
PS As it turned out, we went out with friends, were chauffeured, ate delicious home-cooked Indian food (a personal fave), were thoroughly entertained and had a wonderful time.
I sure do like the way you delineate things: bone-tired and pre-bone tired. Perfect descriptions. Good on you for catching the lifeshock and making a new choice about how you’ll be in the future. And … I’m glad to hear that the evening turned out grand.
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