The Spiritual Case for Eliminating Should from our Vocabulary, Part 3

Discovering the Unnoticed Should's

The unnoticed should's seem to pop up frequently in my life. Just when I am imagining myself to be clear and open to whatever Life brings me (I call that a good hair day – everything goes right), I end up being upset, pissed off, hurt, sad, or just plain stunned. That's a sure sign that I have run smack into an unconscious should.

Last weekend, I finished my fifth Pay It Forward More To Life Weekend. In all cases, about 1/3 of the participants contributed nothing financially. Their response forms indicated great appreciation. Therefore they should contribute to the program that has contributed so unmistakeably to their ability to transform the quality of their (and other's) lives. 

The first Pay It Forward weekend, almost half contributed nothing financially. I was shocked. If the weekend had been awful, I could have understood. But it wasn't. It was the normal training – inspiringly transformative and deeply connecting. I concluded it was a one-off – the next one wouldn't be like that – how could it? (read: It shouldn't!)

The next four Pay It Forward weekends – about 1/3 contributed nothing financially.

OK, I got it. The whole idea was for people to come forward and express the best in themselves and to want to make an ongoing difference to the bigger scheme of things. My job is to trust my (our) vision of making that possible, including the possibility of the More To Life Program folding – to trust that as well.      Will I (we) keep making course corrections – Righty-O!     Do we want the program to fold – Absolutely Not!      Is Life demanding my (our) faithfulness – Always!      Am I (we) learning as we go? Definitely!      Is my (our) intent noble – Indubitably!      Do I have unconscious junk in the way – Apparently!      Am I naive to keep trusting in the face of contradictory data? I don't have enough data to make that call, not really. I'm not sure of the mid-term, long-term repercussions of this Pay It Forward idea. It hasn't turned out how I thought it would. But it also hasn't been a financial train smash. AND more people are benefiting by being in the training. It's a borderline situation in the short term.

Once the shock was identified as a Should – "they should be as generous with their financial resources as we have been generous with our knowledge and faith in their goodness" – now I can get on with being creative.

As always, IT IS as IT IS – Now What?   Once again Life is juicily enigmatic.