Speaking Up – Part 8 – Non-verbally

Have you ever said one thing with your mouth and an opposite thing with the rest of your face/body? Guess which communication the other person will likely believe?

I
Studies have shown that only 8% of communication is verbal; the other 92% is composed of a combination of gesture, body language, posture, facial expression, eye contact, appearance, voice quality, etc. – not to mention actual behavior.

In 1977 I was approaching the judge's bench with a petition in my hand, asking for my name to be changed, dropping my former husband's last name. I had practiced the words to say, practiced holding my backbone upright, my demeanor forthright. By the time I got to the front of the bench, my shoulders had hunched a bit, my eyes cast downward, and my voice was meek. I said the words. My body had already defaulted to the belief that I didn't deserve to have what I wanted. I finally got my act together by the time I went to the third judge. Yep, 3 judges … 2 to practice on, and 3 to make it real. (At least I kept going for it!)

When all indications say otherwise, I believe empty words only when
they match my fantasy. The body speaks more truly than the mouth.