Self Observation at 34,000 feet

Most of my week in S. Africa was spent being with people (Johannesburg, Durban, Cape Town) – open, gregarious, intimately connected to sacred dreams and emotional scars, present to myself, to them and to our common journey … pursuing the truth, getting free. I laughed and cried, moved to tears at the valor of the human spirit. It was a rich and fulfilling time – satisfying the ideal of how I want to live my life.

During the 8 hour layover in Paris and then on the plane to New York, I turned into a recluse – working on my computer, listening to music, sleeping, reading a book…anything BUT connecting to the people around me – not even curious – well, not curious enough to break out of my cocoon – not rude, but the “Do Not Disturb” sign was definitely pulled down like a roll-up shade.

Systolic, diastolic/contract, expand – it’s the way IT Is. Without the systolic/diastolic functioning of the heart, there would be a flat line on the cardiogram. So I am watching my life contract and expand. As a kid, I was involved in a lot of extracurricular school activities, then I would hole-up in my room, door closed. As a mom, I was very involved in all Rebecca-related activities; then, when she was with her Dad, I would often hibernate, spend all weekend reading, or just piddling around by myself – enjoying the solitude.

This doesn’t happen just to individuals. It happens within relationships. The pattern seems to be that – in intimate relationships – there is room for each to progress through their individual contraction/expansions, as well as the contraction/expansions of the relationship itself. Long-term relationships have ups/downs/flat spots. Negotiating those evolutionary stages usually determines whether or not a relationship endures.

It also happens to groups of people (Steering Committees, hiking clubs, etc.), as well as to companies, and even systems – like the current contraction of our financial system. The contraction stage offers introspection, becoming more congruent, building self trust and developing the ability to discern reality. The expansion stage invites us to express the latest iteration – not necessarily in words.
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How do you work your schedule so you can contract/expand consciously?