Resolving Undesirable Outcomes – Part 1

David Howarth, a More To Life professional coach in the UK, and I were chatting the other day about trials and tribulations – knowing when to make a stand and when to surrender. How do you know whether to make a scene or let it go?

At the moment, he and his wife are re-constructing their home, which was water-damaged. As is normal, it has not gone smoothly or in the predicted time frame. So he's had a lot of practice hanging in with the contractor and various bureaucratic red tape, as well as practice letting go of his original plan – Plan A (as well as Plans B, C, etc).

I know this scenario intimately! Sometimes hanging in works – loudly demanding that someone honor their word, or commanding to speak to someone further up the hierarchy of authority, or issuing threatening ultimatums. Sometimes, it doesn't. Sometimes it's like railing against inevitability – more effective to assess the situation and move to Plan B.

When I've been most successful at resolving an undesirable outcome is when I truly make it OK if it doesn't come around my way. But that trick doesn't work if I'm not Really OK with not getting my way. The system can't be hoodwinked. And it's not 100% effective, but it's more effective than anything else I've tried.