Change of Tune

I made an appointment with my dermatologist to have a couple of moles on my neck removed. I get to the appointment on time and wait for almost an hour before the doctor comes in. It is a different doctor – one I have never seen before. And she's acting all friendly, like she doesn't know that I made the appointment with the other doctor. Now I'm getting a little head of steam built up, first because I have waited so long, and mostly because someone made another of those unilateral decisions that affects me – without including me in the decision-making process. Oh, and because she's pretending, and I'm supposed to pretend as well.

I ask her rather briskly how long this will take, because I have to leave in 30 minutes to make my next appointment. (So I was a little snarky.) She says 10 minutes. OK, I'm a bit mollified by that.  So while she does some prep work, numbing my skin; I'm doing some repair work in my mind – getting back into right relationship with myself and her and this situation; so I can be present to her, when I ask about the reason for the change of doctors, and why I wasn't included in that decision.

And then she asks her assistant for the blade. The Blade. I come to full alert. Here's a person about to take a knife and wield it on my throat – I absolutely don't want to piss her off. So jokingly, I say, "you should find another word for that – "blade" conjures some pretty scary mental images." She laughs. I exhale. Connection made.

I forgot to ask about the change of doctors and why I wasn't consulted.

Note to Self: If I could have a "do over" …  Once I waited for so long, I would set a time limit on how much longer I was willing to wait. Then I would practice patience, use that time to be still. So when she came in, I would be open (not tight from being ticked off about waiting), and, with curiosity, I would ask what happened to my doctor. Then, if appropriate, I would ask why wasn't I consulted about the change. Likely I would have been fine. That scenario would be more in alignment with the Spiritual Warrior within me.

What do you want to bet that I'll get another opportunity to practice … soon! (This time I'll be more prepared.)

 PS  In the old days, I would have gotten on my case for being snarky and for not asking for information. Now I regularly practice visualizing how I would do it differently the next time. It's a more productive way of evolving.