Cyclical Patterns

Chatting with Shelagh Brown today, I was reminded how times of the year can snare the psyche. She was in a post-Christmas slump and couldn't figure out why. (BTW, Christmas is a veritable hothouse for snaring psyches.) When we delved further, she realized that she puts herself on hold during the holidays, so that the family has an enjoyable time. Then she traced that back to a Christmas when she was in college, went home for the holidays, put on her pleasing face, and never shared what was really going on in her life – unshared angst.

She saw the repetitive cycle through Christmas after Christmas. This Christmas was about unshared dreams. And the end result was the same … a recurring, unconscious pattern of excluding herSELF, followed by self recrimination. Now that she's aware of the pattern, what do you want to bet that next Christmas will be different!

I had a cyclical pattern that I didn't recognize for several years. I was having a slump in energy about two-thirds of the way through summer. At first I thought it was just about dealing with Houston's summer heat, but there was too much sadness attached to it for it to be relevant to heat. I don't remember exactly what the lifeshock (wake-up from life) was, but I suddenly snapped to the fact that my mother died on the 29th of July.  When I looked back to 1985, I could see the string of heavy-heartedness around late July – regular as clockwork. 

It's amazing to me how connected the heart is, even when the mind is oblivious.