Being Honored

I have mistrusted being honored, praised, flattered, etc. People who know me well, know that it is an issue for me. My concern is two-fold. One is that it is strictly a tactic to butter me up about something they want from me, that I will fall for the con and be taken advantage of – an easy mark. My other concern is that I will over-believe others' praise/flattery and become arrogant, egotistical and act like some people I know that I don't like being around.

My mindtalk has it that praise/flattery is bad, and I end up either being a gullible dupe or an insufferable egomaniac – neither of which appeals to me (and both of which I've been). Either way, I don't like who I am, nor does anyone else.

A couple of years ago, I was talking about this issue with Roy Whitten, my friend and co-founder of the More To Life program. I mentioned that I internally dismissed the laudatory remarks I received after a weekend, knowing that people would be saying the same things to whomever lead the weekend. Therefore none of the praise was personal to me, it was all really meant for the Role of trainer – whoever that was. He said, "And who chose the role?" Hmmmm.

I'm practicing discerning the difference between praise/flattery (sincere or otherwise) from the experience of being honored. Being honored is different for me. When I really let in the sincere honor that comes my way, I feel vulnerable and humble – grateful for the privilge of doing something I love that evokes the best in me.

Life, in all of its beneficence, has managed to force the issue. When I was out of town, Kathy Davis, our Ball Chairman, and the Houston steering committee decided that honoring Roy and me would be a good theme for Houston's Homecoming Ball this year – Saturday night, 23 October. 60% of the time, when someone mentions The Ball, my stomach clenches, which is down from 80%. I'm working on it – my current spiritual warrior's battle.

PS  If you can come, please do – the offer on the table is an elegant, fun evening with good-hearted people, delicious food, fabulous music for dancing – and a silent auction – a fund raising event for the Houston More To Life Program. (I've been promised that the 'honoring' part will be about 15 minutes.) And for those of you who have not met Roy, now's your chance!