Children and Villages

Antony Sharman wrote the following as a comment on my previous blog posting:

Children make us live our life over – and over again. It is a remarkable parent who is recharged by their child and who can
see the difference between their own angst and the life-force of their
offspring.

Antony languaged something for me that I had never put in words – I love when somebody does that. And his comment sparked further thoughts for me.

First, thank you for the acknowledgment. And I agree that children require us to re-examine our own lives over and over. It mattered to me to be accountable as a parent, as a guardian and empowerer of this new life-force, Rebecca. I held it that I was entrusted with her spirit.

On the one hand, she was an 'easy' child to raise – the package she came in is intelligent, no learning disabilities, no anger management issues, physically adept (she was voted Most Outstanding Female Athlete in both Jr. High and Sr. High), and socially adept as well.  On top of all that, she is also beautiful. So it wasn't like the job was a difficult one … for which I am eternally grateful.

On the other hand, I had Sue Oldham as my support person. Sue is also a Senior Trainer with the More To Life program, and her children were older than Rebecca, by 6 years and more. She was also a high school counselor before she was a trainer with MTLP.  And I like the way she is with her children. When I got cross-wise with Rebecca and couldn't get myself back into right-relationship with her (remembering who she Really IS and who I AM with her), I would call Sue and start my rant about the difficulty Rebecca was "giving me." Sue would soon have me back in my humble self, having cleaned up my own projections – usually with some tears and snot as part of that process. Then I would go and make it right with Rebecca.

During one of those times, after I made my amends, I told Rebecca, "I just don't know what I would do without Sue O in my life." And 10-year-old Rebecca responded in her compassionate and cheeky way, "And I don't know what *I* would do without Sue O in your life!"

And so it goes. I am grateful to my parents, who loved Rebecca madly – to my sister, Patsy, who was the kind of aunt everyone wishes they had – to Katy Summerland, who was a spiritual aunt and delighted in their gal-pal-overnights – and to Jane Sloan, uber-nanny, and to whom I entrusted Rebecca when I traveled.

There is an African proverb that says, "It takes a village to raise a child." It certainly helps!