Resentment, Forgiveness
There have been times, while professing to be forgiving, saying all the right words, in which my subtext sounded a tinge like this, "I, in my magnanimous Bigness, forgive you, you undeserving scumbag." Ego-saturated, sanctimonious, toxic, trying to look good.
True forgiveness of others is superficial at best, unless I can first own how I used my resentment to justify my own bad behavior. The transgression happened, but I am the one focusing on my past, instead of living my Now. Being forgiving does not mean that it is OK for you to treat me any way you want. It is not condoning any of your disrespectful behavior. It does not mean we have to hang out together. It means letting go of my demand that it should have been different.
I want to hang onto the lessons learned, for which I can be grateful. Yes, grateful … full of gratitude for however that transgression shaped me, woke me up to who *I* am and who *you* are and to what I will put up with and what I won't.
For my own sake, I forgive whoever for whatever, letting go of the past, so I can Be Here Now. From here, I can reset my boundaries to reflect the truth … to organize my life in a way that honors the best in myself and that supports love flowing in and out of my heart.
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