Letting Go of 2019
During the last week of 2019, I made a list of things to let go of – unworn clothes, habits that don’t serve me (watching TV while playing games on my cell phone – not really interested in either activity), excuses for not exercising, etc. A friend of mine told me she was actively seeking any resentments hanging out that she hadn’t noticed before.
Hmmmm. I was sure I had no resentments, being scrupulous about not resenting. Life wasn’t about to let me get away with that. Very clever, Life! Using a combination of being physically tired, and with a friend with whom I’ve had many conversations about sexism, and another casual sexist remark, I blew up. And out of my mouth poured an old anguish – a boss, who I had really liked, telling me in no uncertain terms that I would either be fired or go to bed with him. He was married with 4 children older than I. I quit in a torrent of tears – scared, angry, hurt, betrayed. WHEW! I let that go, into the past. I wonder what else is buried in my subconscious? Whatever is there, I’m ready for it.
Maybe life is about letting go – in general – of what is no longer current, beloved or useful. A constant state of shedding the “Not Me,” and evolving the Real Me underneath the crap I’ve believed … crap about myself, about people I don’t like, as well as crap about people I DO like.
Cleaning my internal house! Planning course corrections – Nice start to 2020.
Excellent post. Thank you. Am currently wading through the same swamp, and working through a course module involving forgiveness. Coincidence? Mary Morrisey has it that asking yourself whether you have anything to forgive, can be answered by ‘Am I breathing?”
Always good to find your post in my mailbox Ann. Wish you a fabulously light 2020.
It doesn’t surprise me that the end of a decade and the beginning of new one would lead one to ponder about the past/future. Glad the post sparked something for you … and wishing you a 2020 year of delights!
Thank you, Ann! Great post. It reminds me of the snake shedding it’s skin. Up until now I’ve thought of the past (loss, anger, pain, etc.) as that thing that would make life all the better once released; let go of. There’s truth in that view. The irony, I’m coming to understand is that not too long before, that very same skin was a vital lifeline and necessary for life itself. It’s about shedding with respect and honor. What a gauntlet!
I could not agree more. It’s the spirit of evolution, which seems to be how the universe operates … it IS constantly expanding. LOL
Nice going, Ann. Good reminders.
Thank you, Jenny.