Rules vs Disciplines vs Guidelines

Felicity Campbell, one of our New Zealand More To Life Coaches, and I were working out the difference between rules, disciplines, agreements, and guidelines as commonly used in the More to Life program.

What we came up with is:

1. Rules are imposed, we have no say in them – like the rule of being home by a certain time.

2. Disciplines are self-imposed, usually designed to refine myself in some way – I promise myself to do some things and not do other things.

3. Agreements are between two people or a person and an institution – like marriage vows.

4. Guidelines point the general way of behaving or being, acknowledging that there are exceptions – like guidelines for writers.

PS  The bottom line about rules, which everyone seems to know, is that they are made to be broken (and all the other issues with rules, as previously posted).

Disciplines and agreements have a different valence. If kept, something in me is refined. If broken and then processed (i.e., the truth is told), they offer up invaluable learning – an opportunity to reclaim an unforgiven part of myself. And in that process, I am honed.

Guidelines I love – they give me room to trust myself and require a level of mature discernment.