The Quest for Self Expression

Kirsten Johnson, one of our More To Life Coaches, was chatting with me tonight about a decision she made when she was about 4 years old. She told her mother she wanted a Harley (motorcycle) with training wheels. Her mother burst out in laughter, as did the rest of the family when they heard the tale. On the one hand, if you know Kirsten, you'd know she would not think that an outlandish request, given the size of her adventurous streak. On the other hand, you might also imagine what it might be like to have a real want that becomes a family joke. Her conclusion was that she could never have what she wants, and her wants are worth ridiculing, so she should never say what she wants.

Of course, as an adult, those childish presumptions don't rule her life. However, this one surfaced today, and she bit it back.

Our chat this evening started me ruminating about the relentless inner quest for full expression. I am a unique combination of talents and skills, as are you. My biggest mistakes have been made while trying to prove that I was different than what I actually am. My most satisfying experiences have been those moments when I was real – I said what I meant, I meant what I said, and my behavior and my feelings all matched exactly. Many of those experiences were laced with anxiety, because I was laying everything on the line. Others were borne of my willingness to accept the consequences either way, because I just couldn't stand being bound by my fear anymore. And the scariest experiences involved those who matter the most to me.

If you ever find your life on the dull side, tell someone how much you love them … Really HOW MUCH you love them. Or tell them something you've been hiding from them. Or both. That'll do it.