Give Up or Break Through
Looking around, it seems clear to me that change is in the air … individual change, family change, group change, corporate change … and probably world change. In my own world, everything seems like it's rocking along pretty well. From the outside. Inside, I'm at a crossroads. Inside, I know I'm not stepping up as much as I could, or even as much as I want. So I hunted for the stoppers.
Here's what I found. I get the same two variations of mindtalk about whatever I'm focused on – whether it's an exercise/diet plan or publishing my book – anything that's important to me. The more important it is, the more likely I am to run into these two stoppers.
One angle of mindtalk tells me that I've done as well as I can, no point in pushing it, it's OK to stop here, retire, quit, rest on my laurels. "You're old, you don't have to struggle to be fit anymore. You've done well enough with the blog, forget the book, you deserve to take life easy." (This mindtalk has a silky, seductive feel to it.)
The other angle tells me that my plan isn't going to work anyway, it'll be too hard, I don't have enough oomph to make it to the crest. "Crossfit is for the young, not the old. Nobody's going to read your book anyway." (This has a tired, defeatist feel to it.)
My experience has been that the loudest "give up mindtalk" precedes the biggest breakthroughs. It's almost as if my ego knows it's about to be outed, so it redoubles its efforts to keep me playing small. As always, my choice – give up/break through.
This couldnt have come at a better time for me Anne. My mind is running a slightly rampant with the “not good enough” rhetoric. Its good to know I ain’t alone as I painfully push the goodness into my wings and struggle on out through the cucoon top.I will publish journals which are beautifully illustrated and I will write and I will step up and out fully myself. Thank you dear friend for your blof and for your indominatable spirit which inspires us all. Xx
I just love your spirit and ability to inspire across multiple modes touching thousands of lives. Write that book. I will buy a case for friends and family!!!! ?? you are fabulous.
Can’t wait for your book!
Thanks for writing about the mindtalk I’ve been hearing recently–and, oddly, about the same subjects: fitness at an older age, and the value of a forthcoming book. It’s a relief to realize I’m in good company.
I’m reminded of the times I’ve been in a parking lot looking for my car, thinking, “I have no idea where it is. I’m way off here.” Then I recall the numerous times I’ve been in that situation while standing very near my car. I stop, remind myself I’ve been here before, look around, and there it is, quite nearby. Just not exactly where I expected it to be.
Hee hee. Matt and I always joke about how often this happens for me during sex! I always get the most pissed and want to quit right before the best part. I will watch for this in other parts of my life, too.
Thanks yet again for timely reminders and especially for your experience of the ego’s power just before a breakthrough. I notice that I want the outward “rewards” to exactly mirror the effort which I think has gone into the inward “work”. (Isn’t that fair?!) Haha! If only!!
Btw, I’m also in the queue for that book, and not just for me either. Once it’s out there you can put on your slippers and drink cocoa, like you really want to ;D