The Power of No

In a recent conversation with my friend, Jacki Robertson in England, we talked about what it’s like to say Yes to something you no longer want to do. Especially when you believe in the Bigger Picture, and no one else is willing to take on the responsibility. It’s a Yes by default. Not a real Yes.
I’ve said Yes many times when I actually thought I had no choice…total obligation, descending into victimhood. A default Yes degrades my enthusiasm and dampens my creativity. Hemmed in. A loss of energy and hope.

I’m not talking about being there for someone in an emergency situation, even though inconvenient for me. The difference is when I do it as a habit … “saving the world” for other people. Fundamentally, I teach people to depend on me, not seek alternatives. Eventually, resentment blooms – at them and at myself.

I have learned that every Yes I have to one thing has a concomitant No to something else. A Yes to something I don’t really want to do means a No to something I would rather do … eroding my self respect … default Yes by default Yes. Saying No when I mean No and Yes when I mean Yes builds my integrity. It’s Real. It also opens the door for others to participate or for the situation to evolve.