Last Night – Arrrgh

Last night was completion night for the More To Life Weekend. It was the last event to be held at our current center, because we are moving at the end of the month! When I first arrived, I was feeling energized, having had a delicious meal and some great camaraderie with Audrey Bronswijk.

By the end of the evening, I knew I had been Way Less than spectacular – OK, I was about a C- (on the
A to F scale). As the evening progressed, I kept going, and kept wondering, "what's the matter with me?" I knew I wasn't operating on all 4 burners, but I couldn't seem to break out of my invisible prison. It had been such a glorious weekend, and now "I was ruining everything."

So I did some processing, on the way home, after I got home, in my dreams, and now this morning. I feel crystal clear again. Here's what happened. Before the evening started, I met one of the guests attending the evening. She told me she did a lot of work with The Forum. "Oh," I say. "I did a lot of work with the old est training." (The Forum is the metamorphosis of the est training.) We chatted a bit, the conversation shifted, and we moved on.

What I didn't notice was that my reactive mind went straight to work comparing the More To Life Program (MTLP) with The Forum – and did what it usually does; which is for me to end up holding the short stick.  In this case, The Forum fared much better in comparison to the MTLP. And in truth, in the eyes of the world, it looks more 'successful.' Added to the mix was a backdrop of personal lifeshocks (events) between me and The Forum which lengthened the shadow of illusion. So I ended feeling defensive about what the MTLP offers, believing SHE was judging our program; when, in reality, *I* was judging our program.

My processing allowed me to get what the lifeshock (event) was that my mind glommed onto, to decipher the illusion that imprisoned me, and to distinguish what was true and what was illusion. Both programs are intended to improve quality of life. Both programs use the same modality – training room, participants, team, trainers. We teach similar kinds of processes. From my standpoint, our contexts are different. The Forum focuses on "getting what you want." The MTLP focuses on "being in alignment with yourself, others, and God/Life/Universal Light."

Both programs serve. In my opinion, while The Forum seems sexier, it only satisfies to a certain point. The MTLP takes more work to get to the heart of the matter, and it is ultimately satisfying in the most profound ways. It is also about getting what you want – not the ego-wants, but the spiritual wants.

Bottom line, I'm home again. I'm no longer holding the short stick; the MTLP stands on its own. I'm choosing to participate on all four burners in the program that quenches my spiritual thirst.