India – Hawkers and Beggars and me

Having lived in South Africa, I am used to hawkers and beggars. In SA, I developed my own way of addressing them – some of which I learned from the wise guidance of Orlene Bar Chaim. I learned to connect, and not buy; and I would give food, instead of money. One day, I gave a banana to a young boy, because he had indicated he was hungry. I watched him, in front of me, throw the banana into the gutter. He didn't really want food, he wanted money – which most likely would have found its way into his pimp's pocket. It was yet another call for discernment. Even Jesus didn't heal all the sick and lame. There must be some kind of receptivity in the other.

 This time, in Mumbai especially, I practiced looking into their eyes, acknowledging their humanness, while still being firm in my stand about not buying. In particular, there was one woman who was persistent in selling her purses, and yet she made eye contact, continually suggesting alternatives. Bill ended up buying a purse from her, while she taught us how to say, "No, thank you. I don't want anything." It was a good laugh and a good connection.

On the other hand, there was a woman with a well-fed baby on her hip, dogging our every   step, looking desperate and then hard-eyed – a combination of anger and intentionality. She was flipping from one tactic to another – hopeless/helpless, guilt-tripping, and finally a malevolence that I refused to give her money. I felt slimed. She never saw me as a person, she only saw me as a mark.

I'm both these women – at times engaging with all around me while still pursuing my goal; and other times, so intent on my goal, I forget about connecting – both to myself and to others. And I usually generate the same sort of responses as these women did in me.