Being True to the Situation

Different situations shine light on different aspects of my personality and require different behavior in order to be appropriate to the context. Some behaviors are enforced by law – I can't drive any way I want without risking my license. Some are culturally enforced, like not talking in an elevator – nobody ever told me that, but "it's a rule."

So how do *I* keep from being swallowed up by any bigger context, whether it's my job, religion, gender, culture? How do I BE fully mySELF AND true to those around me, WHILE being awake to the reality of my surroundings? Not only that, but there are blatant and conscious codes of behavior, as well as unspoken, but agreed codes. Break them at your own peril.

In 1990, leading my first training in South Africa, there was a general consensus that it was a sign of disrepect for a black woman to look a man in the eyes. I didn't know, so I didn't abide by it. On the one hand, my flouting of that "rule" broke the cultural trance for those in the room; and on the other hand, I became more effective in the training once I understood.

Before going to Morocco, Valerie Burson researched the cultural mores, informed me, and we packed clothes that respected their values. *I* wasn't lessened in any way. Nor was I compelled to change their culture to be more like me. 

it's a high game, for sure. It requires awakeness and radical truth telling, as always. In the same way that every relationship is mutually impactful (whether healthy or unhealthy), so is each moment. And I am free to choose – which do I let go of and which do I commit to impact? Experimentation helps.