When what I say, what I do, and how I feel are all the same; I am congruent, integrous, real – and thus believable. In other words, if I have either a "YES" or a "NO" in all three, then I'm in integrity with myself and with everyone else.
Example: if I say "Yes" to an action, and don't do it; I'm out of integrity. If I say, "Yes", actually do what I said *begrudgingly* (which is a "NO" feeling), I'm out of integrity with myself – setting myself up for an easy resentment or, my personal fall-back favorite, a martyr's halo.
This has become my test of my personal integrity. Today I am living with the consequence of an unnoticed NO feeling beneath my Automatic Yes to leading 4 pro bono events in 2 week's time.
All of these events logically fell in my bailiwick. I didn't notice that I felt heavy/obligated to say YES. Since I didn't notice my "NO" feeling at the time, I didn't do a purpose generator to see if I could change the heaviness.
As it turns out, I have not lead 3 of the 4 events in the last two weeks, being down with a virulent coughing virus, which has precluded using my voice – for anything. Hmmmm. How I noticed it – I feel guilty for having so much time off.
As a spiritual warrior (as are we all, whether we admit it or not), I missed the mark on this one. So I'm taking yet another run at my Automatic Yes, determined to stand in the middle of my Say – Do – Feel, make sure I am congruent in all facets before I say Yea or Nay.
PS If any part of me is 'out,' it sometimes means I need either more information or more purpose for my action.