LIFE AS IT IS

The Positive Power of Being Fed Up (John Bradshaw quote)

This phrase imprinted itself in my body about 30 years ago. It comes to me regularly, when I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired about something. AND, becoming FED UP with an outmoded way of being is certainly a positive thing in my life.

Example: playing beneath my skill set – I was afraid of being too visible. In my lexicon, being visible meant being a target – for unmet expectations by others (the bigger you play, the better you must be), for abuse as the one representing a group which is being criticized, and/or by those who compete for the spotlight in which I stand, instead of creating their own spotlight. And more.

When my fear of the spotlight was overshadowed by my disgust at myself for playing small (boring), and my altruism gained momentum, plus the vision of a world made inhabitable for my children and my children’s children became more compelling – THEN those visions superseded the fear, and I was fed up with playing small.

Fundamentally, being frightened of being visible was a function of my ego – an attempt to subdue my spirit by scaring me about what other people would think of me. So I did all I could to stay as amorphous as possible, so I could adjust quickly enough to make people like me and not think what I didn’t want them to think … basic manipulation. As if their opinion of me was more important than living my spiritual fingerprint. A teenage mindset. Enough. Now what?

3 Responses

  1. Linda Puckett

    I remember that you played big in my Awakening the Mind weekend in Atlanta back in 1984. I was forever imprinted with your big compassion and insightful co- teaching with Roy Whitten. I was awakened that weekend….so I’m grateful that you played big. As for me, I am still working on that one!

    1. Ann Mc

      Thank you, Linda … and I’m guessing you also make an imprint on others that you don’t know about. And it’s never about “others” anyway … it’s always about your accountability for living the life you are uniquely gifted with – to make your unique contribution to our world. AND, BTW, I’m also still working on refining my own contribution. This life – what a journey!

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