LIFE AS IT IS

My Rebel Within

There are two kinds of rebels – the obvious kind who flout the rules, do whatever they want, whenever they want … an adult version of “the spoiled brat.” The second kind agrees with you, but figuratively crosses their fingers behind their backs .. saying what they think you want to hear, later behaving however they want.

As the eldest of 8 children, having heard, “you set the example for the rest of the kids,” I believed I had no choice but to behave the way I was supposed to. Cramped inside a box of “approved behavior.”

Inwardly I rebelled, hiding my naughty behavior: saying all the forbidden “bad” words, smoking, drinking, experimenting sexually – but only when I wouldn’t get caught. It was my way of breaking out of the box of Their “approved” behavior, sticking myself in the box of Their “unapproved” behavior, all to prove that I was free of their rules, not realizing I was still in a box.

Like that was a win.

As I matured, I started freeing myself of both boxes, until I thought I was finally self-actualized, loyal to my destiny as a human being. I was going through the Clarity Process from the More to Life program, curious about why I kept flouting my own exercise discipline. I finally unearthed my atavistic rebel stand – “Ain’t NOBODY gonna tell me what to do, even if it’s ME!!”

Wow! My ego is very tricky.

16 Responses

  1. Linda

    Oh Ann,
    I have done the same things. Making myself appear all put together,! Thank you for the awareness one more time. Love to you Ann!
    PS. And I thought my sister was the rebel, and envied her because she was, and so what did I do?? Oh my!!

  2. Andrew Munro

    I love you, Ann……I am inspired and feel gratitude for your bold humility, your permissive discipline, and well, just your joy and playful being. Namaste. This kind of talk just makes it more and more likely that you will be in nz in October. Bring it on!

  3. Jen

    I’ve been wondering why I’ve been doing what I do — and this nailed it. Thanks, Ann. Gonna have another talk with my Self.

    1. Ann Mc

      Freedom is a very high value for me … and I would like to be free of my internal demands that I be free, instead of just getting that I AM free!

  4. Mary Kennerty

    Hi Ann – Since taking in “The Pearl’ with you and Peggy Jarrett last spring, much has been bubbling up about finding a new family. This summer I was able to find a new set of friends and family in the North Carolina mountains. Also created another job teaching Pickleball for the local rec department in Charleston SC.

    Life has brought opportunities that have changed my attitude about the past.

    With peace,

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