LIFE AS IT IS

Impatience

Waiting. I’m not really a big fan of waiting. Especially when I have a To-Do list that will now take much longer than I had planned. Scene: car dealership, regular maintenance. I had planned two hours. It’s been 3.

My To-Do list is long. I’m impatient – “trying” to go with the flow (accent on “trying,” i.e. not succeeding).

OK, I know how to deal with this, I teach tools that cover this situation, but I don’t Want to use those tools. I want to be impatient. I’m good at impatience. It’s a finely honed quality, carefully cultivated, with many years experience … an expertise of sorts. (It’s hard to give up an expertise – even if it’s detrimental to my wellbeing.)

Here’s the embarrassing part. Regardless of how much I believe that “they” should make it easy for me to keep my Plan A, and that if they don’t, it’s OK for me to act like a grown-up spoiled brat, there’s a part of me shaking my head no. While I don’t want to know that I actually know this, I can’t “un-know” it. The world does not revolve around my Plan A (but if it did, the whole world would be a better place, surely).

Seriously? Just writing this, it all became clear. And as I exhaled, settled more easily into my own skin, the lady came, “your car’s ready, we even washed it for you.”

The Universe is tricky.

 

 

 

8 Responses

  1. Cecillia

    “It’s hard to give up an expertise – even if it’s detrimental to my wellbeing.”
    When I read this, it occurred to me that I might have several areas of unrecognized expertise.

  2. Penny F. Dressor

    Always trying to get it my way whether it be hearing or seeing, seems to wake me up to what really is. Sometimes it closes all senses down and then I miss what was on offer. So trying to be in the moment…

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